


Still

by exandriantrashpanda (topothesia)



Category: Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 17:51:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19706434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topothesia/pseuds/exandriantrashpanda
Summary: Laura and Sam face the consequences of their at-table shenanigans.





	Still

**Author's Note:**

  * For [videogamedoc87](https://archiveofourown.org/users/videogamedoc87/gifts).



> Happy early birthday to my favorite shame pit roommate.

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Laura hisses at Sam, turning her head to look at him. They’re both kneeling on the floor, still fully clothed, next to the bed in the guest room at her and Travis’s house. They can faintly hear sounds from the living room: Ronin activating his favorite musical toy and the cadences of of Travis and Liam’s voices as they talk to him and to each other. 

“You’re the one who told Matt he was entitled to punish us!” Sam hisses back at her. 

“I wasn’t expecting him to actually take us up on it! Or for you to agree with him!” Laura hisses. “Now I feel like I’m about to be in some weird porn film!”

“Did I hear the word punishment?” Matt says as he comes into the room. “I hope it was in the context of how much you two richly deserve it.”

Laura and Sam’s heads both whip around to look at him. Matt’s also got all of his clothes on: jeans, a dark t-shirt with the sleeves pushed up, and a grey vest. He looks down at both of them, a neutral expression on his face, as if he’s waiting for them to tell him the outcome of a dice roll. 

“I was just telling Sam how fucking ridiculous this is,” Laura says, glaring defiantly at Matt as he sits down on the edge of the bed. 

“And?” Matt says, looking at Sam.

Sam squirms a little, unsure if he wants to side with Laura or support Matt. Finally he says, “I don’t quite know what to expect from any of this. But I did -- ow, Laura! -- ” he breaks off as Laura ferociously elbows him in the side -- “I did agree to it. So did you,” he says, looking woundedly at Laura and rubbing his side. 

“Do you know why you’re being punished?” Matt says.

“Oh God, are we in high school all over again? I already ran that one-shot,” Laura says, rolling her eyes. 

Matt doesn’t say anything, just continues to gaze at Laura until she sighs dramatically and says, “Fine. We’re being punished because sometimes --

“Only sometimes -- “ Sam breaks in.

“Sam and I can perhaps --” Laura continues.

“Just perhaps --” Sam choruses.

“Get a little out of hand at the table,” Laura finishes, and Sam nods. 

“But we don’t really mean to!” Sam says. “Well, I mean, the ads, those are on purpose, but…”

“I’m not talking about the ongoing travesty that is your attempt to promote our primary sponsor, although I’m sure marketing classes all over the world are using those ads as examples of what not to do,” Matt says. “I’m talking about your in-game behavior.”

“I was the best player in the game the other week and I was home sick on the sofa!” Laura protests. 

“She really was,” Sam says. “Despite Travis’s best efforts.”

“And Sam’s really good, too, and it’s not his fault I made Jester steal Nott’s flask,” Laura says. 

Matt pinches the bridge of his nose just briefly before moving his hand away and saying, “I’m not here to talk about the choices your characters are making, either, no matter how… interesting… they sometimes are. I’m talking about your behavior at the table.”

“But...we’re...we’re friends!” Laura says. “And we’re not the only people getting up to hijinks,” she insists.

Sam nods, but then says, “Although I guess sometimes we can be a little distracting…”

“A little?” Matt says drily. “Do you have any idea?”

“It’s always chaos at the table. Especially in combat,” Laura says. “Or sometimes someone’s doing a thing, and Sam and I don’t really have to be involved in the thing…”

“Or sometimes we’re trying to plan something out…” Sam adds.

“Something super cool, usually,” Laura says, and a faint hint of Jester creeps into her tone. 

“But I guess sometimes we don’t always pay attention,” Sam says. 

“But neither does anyone else!” Laura says. “So I don’t know why you’re singling us out when it’s a cat rodeo every single week.”

“Who says you’re the only people I’m talking to?” Matt asks. 

“Now I really do feel like I’m in the principal’s office,” Laura mutters.

“After..the incident… last week, you both agreed to this,” Matt says, lifting a hand to rub at his forehead. 

“It was only a few drawings!” Laura protests. 

“And they were really good drawings, too!” Sam says. 

“And it’s not like the camera picked them up, because I know we can’t show things like that on Twitch,” Laura says. 

“Definitely not,” Sam says. “If they wouldn’t even let Liam and I go shirtless in a hot tub, they’re definitely not letting your dick drawings on stream.”

“Yes, but the point is that you were drawing dicks on each other’s notebooks while other people were getting vitally important information from an informant,” Matt says. “And it was hard for me -- and everyone else -- to focus because of your shenanigans. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I could go on.”

“He does kind of have a point,” Sam says to Laura. “I’m sorry, Matt. I’ll apologize to everyone else before the game next week.”

“Ugh, fine,” Laura says. “I’ll try not to draw dicks on Sam’s notes anymore, and to pay better attention. I’m sorry. Are we done now?”

“We haven’t gotten to the punishment part yet,” Matt says.

“I feel like we have,” Laura says. 

“Talking with me is punishment?” Matt says, his tone sounding a little injured. “Well. How fortunate for you that your punishment involves not having to talk, then.”

“Say what now?” Sam asks.

“You two are going to stay still and silent until I say you can stop,” Matt says. 

“And then what?” Laura says. 

Matt stares evenly at her but doesn’t say anything. After a long beat during which Sam and Laura glance nervously at each other and then back at him, he says, “We’re going to begin right now.”

 _This will be easy,_ both Sam and Laura think. How hard can it be to be quiet, after all? For a few moments, it seems as if their assumption is correct; the room goes silent except for the low noise of the air conditioner and the faint sound of cars passing by on the street outside. Matt’s not looking at either of them directly, but Sam and Laura can still feel his gaze on them and the intensity of his regard.

Sam squirms first, about five minutes in; it’s just a quick twitch, but Matt’s hand clamps onto his shoulder like lightning, and Sam makes a startled noise before saying, “Sorry? I didn’t mean to,” his tone and his gaze both seemingly sincere.

Matt squeezes Sam’s shoulder hard and then releases him. “We’ll start again,” he says. 

“This is not what I was expecting,” Laura mutters, almost to herself. 

“Well, it’s what you’re getting,” Matt says. “We’ll start again.”

The room goes quiet again, this time for longer, but about ten minutes in, Laura reaches her hand up to rub at her eye without thinking about it, unaware that she’s moving until Matt’s hand grabs her wrist. 

“Shit, sorry,” Laura says. Sam smiles but says nothing. 

“I’m trying to find out if you actually are both capable of being in the same room together without causing chaos to erupt,” Matt says. 

“Are you going to make us stay like this for the average length of a game?” Sam asks. “Because I don’t know if my knees are actually up for that.”

“We don’t have that much time,” Matt says. “But that’s a tempting idea.”

“Don’t help him!” Laura says to Sam. 

“What were you expecting?” Matt asks Laura. 

“That you’d...I don’t know…” Laura trails off.

“Make it like some ‘really weird porn’?” Matt says with a smirk. “Collars and chains? Spankings for everyone?”

“...yeah?” Laura says, her voice low. 

“Punishment isn’t supposed to be fun,” Matt says. “I think you two would enjoy those sorts of things, wouldn’t you?”

Sam stares at the floor and doesn’t say anything, although his cheeks turn a little pink. 

“You already _do_ enjoy them!” Laura says gleefully to Sam. 

“What I do in the bedroom with my wife -- or my husband -- is my business,” Sam finally says, turning even pinker. “And are you trying to tell me that you and Travis haven’t ever spiced things up a little?”

Now it’s Laura’s turn to blush. “Okay, well…” she says, and lapses into a brief reverie. 

“Exactly my point,” Matt says. “You’d enjoy that sort of punishment. But having to kneel here and not do anything and not be allowed to talk to each other is probably the worst punishment I can think of for the two of you. And you’re even failing at that.”

“I had a muscle spasm!” Sam insists. “I really wasn’t trying to disrupt your creative and appropriate punishment, Matty.”

“No one likes a suck-up, Sam,” Laura says.

“You don’t have to make this more difficult,” Sam says to Laura.

“You don’t have to kiss ass,” Laura says to Sam.

“Uh huh,” Matt says, as if Sam and Laura aren’t having a spat right in front of him. “Well, shall we try again? If you can make it fifteen minutes, I’ll consider it a success. If you can’t, though, we’ll start over from the beginning instead.”

“You’d better be timing it,” Laura says. 

“Shhh,” Sam says, adopting an elaborately meditative expression and closing his eyes.

“Eyes open,” Matt says with a tone of casual command. “I don’t want you sleeping through it.” He holds up his phone and taps the start button on the timer. “Now then.”

**

“What do you think they’re doing in there?” Travis asks Liam for probably the tenth time.

“I don’t know,” Liam says.

“It’s too quiet!” Travis says. “I went and listened at the door after I went to the bathroom and I couldn’t hear anything. Our spouses are not normally quiet people, Lemur!”

“We trust Matt,” Liam says, idly handing Ronin back the same toy that he’s pitched out of the play area fifteen times in the last five minutes. 

“Yeah, I know, but what kind of...what could they possibly be doing in there?” Travis asks. 

“Try not to worry about it,” Liam says. 

Ronin’s fallen asleep and been bundled off to his bedroom and Travis and Liam are playing with the character creation in the latest Soul Calibur game when both of them hear the bedroom door open. Matt walks into the living room first, followed by Laura and then Sam. 

“What were you doing in there?” Travis blurts as he drops his controller and goes over to wrap his arms around Laura. 

“Punishment,” Matt says simply.

“And that was…?” Liam asks. 

“Entirely unlike what most works of fiction have lead me to expect,” Sam says, flopping down onto the couch next to Liam and stretching out. “My knees do hurt, though,” he adds.

Liam raises an eyebrow and looks at Matt, who shrugs expressively. “They can tell you if they want. But I’m satisfied. Until Thursday, at least.”

“Can we move on to the part where we get takeout and play Soul Calibur now?” Laura asks. 

“We already started on that part,” Travis says. 

“Sure,” Matt says, dropping down onto the couch next to Liam and Sam. “Dibs on making Gilmore again.”

Sam looks over at Laura while Liam and Matt are busy with the game controllers and Travis is walking around to join them. He winks at her and she winks back at him. If Matt notices, he doesn’t say a thing.


End file.
